Whilst established couples may be each other’s sounding boards for big decisions, if you’re in the early days of the relationship, you should still be making the decisions that are best for you and not worrying too much about the other person. Has your relationship already reached a point where you can’t make decisions about your own life without consulting them first? You can’t make decisions without consulting them. Have you had your first fight? If not, you don’t know how they will react and whether their commitment will waiver. They may run for the hills at the first sign of trouble, both in your life and in your relationship. But if you have only known this person for a little while, there’s no way to tell for sure that they can be relied upon to support you when you go through a difficult time. Trust is also about being reliable and being there when someone needs you. Trust covers everything from expressing honesty in how you feel, to knowing that a person will try their best at every opportunity to take your feelings into account. And trust is much more than believing they will be faithful to you. You can’t simply flick a switch in your head and trust someone. You trust them completely before even having your first fight. That’s not to say that this relationship is not going to work out, just that it could do with having the brakes applied to it slightly.Ĩ. After all, your friends don’t want to see you get hurt. It sometimes takes an outside perspective to identify if and when something doesn’t quite seem right. Whilst no one can get inside your head and understand what you may be feeling, when someone who cares for you expresses their concern that things are moving too quickly, you should listen to them.įrom within the relationship, everything might appear to be going great, but you might not be able to see the red flags from where you are. Your friends have commented on how quickly feelings seemed to have developed. Of course you want to see them a lot, and of course you want them to like you and have those feelings grow into love, but if you are giving up too much too soon, you’ll probably regret it later. If you are sacrificing things in your life that are important to you so that you can be with this new person, or to please them in some way, you have to ask yourself whether they are deserving of these sacrifices just yet. Sacrifice and compromise are part of being in a healthy, loving relationship. Yes, you do need to have those serious conversations at some point, but if you’re discussing where you’re going to live, how many kids you want, and what your wedding is going to look like after only knowing them for a month or two, are you living in the real world or a fantasy?ĥ. If you and your new SO spend ages talking about how your future together is going to look, you’re getting ahead of yourselves. You talk TOO much about the future.įlip the last point around and take it to the extreme. The words ‘we need to talk’ will strike fear into your heart. If you’re less comfortable, as much as you love spending time with the object of your affections, you’ll dodge any potentially serious conversations. If you’re comfortable with the pace at which a relationship is moving, you should be happy to talk about ‘big’ issues and figure out exactly where you stand and where you think the two of you might, hypothetically, be going, knowing that you’re both on the same page. You avoid talking about the serious stuff. The relationship might not be wrong, you just might not be quite ready for it. That could be the case, but perhaps you just feel like things are getting out of your control.
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